I Will Not…

Cloudy soul with a chance of shenanigans

I will not trade this soul of glass
For one that masks my every wrath
Nor bury it in fear of shame
To protect what little pride remain
But drape it gently across my heart
As a window in, to view my scars

I will not let my eyes shift south
Should sorrow beckon to stain my cheek
Nor hang my head in a moment’s doubt
As affliction impels me to silently weep

I will not stand upon your field
Unarmored, with no sword no shield
Nor turn my back for you to strike
Upon me blindly, as a coward might

I will not question reason’s end
Where intent could only be presumed
Nor hope the bond of friendship mend
As cryptic jabs spill forth with truth

So many memories to evade…

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The effects of telling of my rape story

From the Darkness into the Sunshine


I haven’t been able to sleep much-
My body continues to feel the pieces of the room there voices smells and laughter even noises of the bottles they uses to insert into me..
While each you could say had there specialty ,I don’t wanna remember it’s huge push in me ….
But it’s coming in all shapes if I lay down I feel as though I’m falling into that space of the abuse ,my jaw aches from all they made me do His kissing was so force able it hurt the oral sex I had to perform he was just as vigorous about ,until he ejaculated that smell remains engraved into my skin tonight.
Each had there part some following in his foot steps some holding me down well they shoved bottles into me ..I only know as i cry now the ceiling was my refuge I became…

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Come Back My Love

Finding Home


Saturday, ‎October ‎11, ‎2014

Help me, this world is getting heavier
I need you, i miss you more and more
I am wasting away and i am searching for you
But there is no you and i have no happiness any more
I left you and you let me too, how could you
Now i can’t say return, your on the blissful run
I want you so much but i have no right to say, i deserve none
But hear i am soliciting your love, hear me once
Can’t you be the one to come when you’r the one to say, done!

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